dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
