the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
