So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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