Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm too high and old for this...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
