ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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