You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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