Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
