lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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