If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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