Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
