How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
