I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
