strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
