I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
