We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
