The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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