my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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