Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
