I cockslap morals
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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