THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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