we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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