I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
