it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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