Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
