We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you traded sex for a burrito?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
