I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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