i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
