Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
