the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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