Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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