But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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