you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
