i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
