Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
