Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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