He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
