We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
