I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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