I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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