The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
false alarm. still invincible.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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