You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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