He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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