I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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