batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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