just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
