Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have feelings that need drinking.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
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