I accidentally burped into my bong.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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