Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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