i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
