They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
