id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
