I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
